BS Translator

So I was reading Brian Bedford's latest letter today and could not help but wonder what was REALLY going through his mind as he was writing it. I quickly realized that with the aid of technology and a few of his quotes, we can figure out what exactly he was thinking. So without further ado, it is my honor to present the BS Translator/Filter v1.1. This can be yours for the low, low price of $19.99!

BB Quote #1:
"In another shake up closer to home, Sean Menke, our EVP and CMO, has tendered his resignation effective at the end of March. I am sure our co-workers in Denver are saddened and disappointed by this development and I personally share that disappointment. I understand and respect Sean’s decision and wish him well in whatever endeavors he decides to pursue in the future."

BS Translation #1:
"Sean Menke quit on me today because because he realized I don't know shit about running a branded airline. He's sticking around till March so maybe I will be able to take a look at his airline running playbook. He keeps the playbook next to his "Denver Businessman of the Year Award". Man that thing is big. It is much bigger than my "Milwaukee Foot in Mouth Award". Anywho, I hope he doesn't get a job with a competing airline!"

BB Quote #2:
"However, we have a serious amount of hard work ahead of us to execute the transition program and we have 11,000 co-workers depending on us to deliver results. So in spite of our collective disappointment, we need to remain fully focused and committed to the difficult work at hand to move forward on the integration project and support our employees in the field so they can continue to take great care of our passengers."

BS Translation #2:
"I got to find someone else who knows how to run a branded airline to take Sean's place that is willing to relocate to Indianapolis. I don't know why we are having such a hard time convincing people to move to Indy. Wayne Heller told me that he made an impassioned speech to the employees in Denver the day he told everyone their jobs were moving to Indianapolis in 4 months. I especially liked the part when he said that it was all Chris Collins' fault. That was a nice touch."

BB Quote #3:
"Sean’s departure undoubtedly raises questions and concerns for our Frontier employees. I wish we did not have to take on this distraction at this critical point in the integration process; however, I can assure you Republic is just as committed to this undertaking today as we were in September when we won the Frontier bankruptcy auction. Our vision for the integration and development of the branded business has not waivered. Our belief that we have great people, great products and great opportunities to develop the branded business beyond Denver and Milwaukee has not diminished. However, before we can move forward with the exciting work of extending the brand into new territories, we have to work through the very difficult tasks of combining the leadership teams, the technology and the brands."

BS Translation #3:
"Now that Sean has quit, we can begin moving those jobs to Indianapolis too. I just need to keep telling people that we haven't made a decision yet. Yeah, that will keep them from looking for other jobs. I guess we need to pull out the ole dart board and U.S. map again until we can find someone that knows what the hell they are doing. I hope we don't get another errant dart again like the one that hit Hawaii last time. Man it sucks that Hawaii didn't work out, and just as I was getting the hang of pronouncing Mokulele."

BB Quote #4:
"Walking around the corporate offices in Denver, it is becoming clear that we have some “trust issues” between the Frontier management team and the Republic management team. Frankly I’m a little disturbed by this. During the bankruptcy process, we worked very closely with Sean and Ted to define the combination synergies (also known as the elimination of redundant overhead functions) we could expect to obtain were we the successful bidder for Frontier."

BS Translation #4:
"Since I happened to be in Denver at the Stock Show last week, (bought a nice big belt buckle with my name on it) I decided to swing by the Frontier G.O., or "the graveyard" as it will be known as soon. I quickly discovered that these people were giving me dirty looks. I guess they don't trust me anymore. I only told people we were looking for synergies. I guess it depends on what they interpret the meaning of synergy to be. I should probably look it up. Maybe I should not have told everyone that it would be a "jump ball" for positions with the combined company. I could not in good conscious tell them it was actually going to be a game of "dodge ball" but with Frontier's allotment of dodge balls getting cut from the budget because they were synergized with ours."

BB Quote #5:
"While in Denver this week, I’ve heard some conversations along the line that “Frontier was profitable before these guys bought us why does anything have to change?” Yes Frontier was profitable in 2009 when the price of oil was under $60. At $80 oil, Frontier’s cost of fuel will be $100 million higher, and despite what we might wish, the fares in Denver (and Milwaukee) are just not going up. Whether you trust me or not, I can assure you we need all the synergies we jointly defined before the merger and then some to offset the increased cost of fuel."

BS Translation #5:
"Why do these people keep asking me about changing stuff if they were profitable? I know, it gives me a good chance to do something I have never had to do before with the fixed-fee side of the business, blame fuel prices and fares! I really like this excuse, it works better than the other fixed-fee excuses. I should remember to use fuel price excuse again when we tell the Customer Service employees that the new pay scales will remain."

BB Quote #6:
"As for the brand question, this opens a very thorny set of issues as both Midwest and Frontier employees (and equally important their customers) are rightfully very invested in their respective “hometown” brands. We want to respect those feelings and help coach both sides to a mutually beneficial yet unified brand solution. I don't have all the answers today but we are doing the hard work to get the information we need that will allow our employees and our customers to decide the product attributes they want for the merged brand."

BS Translation #6:
"The Frontier and Midwest brands are screwed! The animal advertising is stupid and the cookies are not even oatmeal raisin! . Who ever heard of talking animals on airplanes, I don't get it. I can't wait to tell everyone that the new airline is going to be called "Hoosier Air"! We will be Indiana's hometown airline with a total of 10 flights a day in and out of Indianapolis."

So there you have it, select quotes from Brian Bedford as seen through the BS Translator/Filter v.1.1. Stay classy Mr. Bedford!